Should you write custom wedding vows? There are endless decisions to make while planning your wedding. Veil or flower crown? Tiered cake or doughnut bar? Where should we seat Aunt Margo?
Among every wedding-related choice, the one that frequently stumps couples is this question: should I write my own wedding vows?
As a wedding vow writer and creator of Wedding Words, I’m perhaps a bit biased. I believe custom written wedding vows are one of the most special and personal things you can do on your wedding day.
Still scratching your head and wondering if you should write your own wedding vows or go the traditional wedding vow route? Here are 16 reasons why you should write your own wedding vows.
Reason #1: Custom Wedding Vows are the Single Best Way to Personalize Your Wedding
Wedding personalization is huge and arguably the largest wedding trend. Most couples want to design a wedding that feels like them.
You can choose your favorite flowers, turn up your personal playlist, and opt for a doughnut bar instead of a traditional wedding cake but if you really want to take wedding personalization to the next level, write your own custom wedding vows.
There’s nothing more personal than detailing how you feel and expressing your love story in your own words during your wedding ceremony.
Reason #2: Custom Vows Cater to All Relationship Types
Old school wedding vows are not exactly inclusive for LGBT weddings. If you’re a gay couple, custom wedding vows are written to match your unique love story. You’re in the driver’s seat and have control over what you want to be said and how you want it to be said during your wedding ceremony.
Reason #3: Your Wedding Cinematographer Will Thank You
Are you planning to have a wedding video? Just ask your cinematographer—the best way to add more sentiment and personalization to your wedding video is by reading your own custom wedding vows.
“Custom vows allow for your personalities to shine through while also providing a window through which we see what your relationship with one another is really like,” Scott Patterson said. “Whether funny, sentimental, poetic, or emotional—personalized vows gives everyone a glimpse into what makes your relationship unique. I can’t stress this enough—do custom wedding vows!”
Reason #4: Custom Vows Provide Foundation
Why are you choosing to marry your fiancé? As a wedding vow writer, this is my favorite question to ask during our video interview call.
Have you ever asked yourself that question?
It’s an interesting one to consider. Often marriage is viewed as the next sensible step in a serious and loving relationship. But when you remember it’s a real choice and consider why you’re making it, a flood of deeply meaningful reasons will often come to mind.
The reasons behind why you’re choosing to marry your fiancé are special. Use custom written wedding vows as a way to express those feelings with your fiancé.
Reason #5: You Don’t Have to be a Writer to Write Your Own Wedding Vows
Worried about writing your own wedding vows because you’re not a writer? You don’t need to be!
Just like you’d hire a seamstress to alter your wedding dress, you can hire a wedding vow writer to write your unique wedding vows.
At Wedding Words, I collaborate with couples to write completely custom wedding vows. We talk over a video interview where I learn your unique love story. I then provide you with a first draft of your wedding vows to review.
It’s a very collaborate process so this is the time when you provide feedback. I edit the draft for you to review again. By the end of the process you receive custom wedding vows that sound exactly like you and are tailored to your personalized story.
Couples have provided rave reviews about the process and the end result.
Reason #6: Your Wedding Vows Will Become a Cherished Keepsake
The Knot ranks wedding photography as one of the areas worth splurging on when it comes to wedding planning.
We agree. It’s your wedding photographs that will live on long past the ceremony and reception celebration.
When you choose to write custom wedding vows instead of reading the traditional wedding vows, you are creating an additional wedding keepsake. Love and Lavender shows several creative ways for how you can transform your custom wedding vows into artwork.
Reason #7: Custom Vows Serve as a Reminder Throughout Your Marriage
Throughout your marriage, you’ll celebrate in the joyful moments but you’ll also work to endure through the challenging times.
Your wedding vows can serve as an anchor to ground you as a couple. It’s your wedding vows, these promises made to each other, that will remind you of why you chose to get married and your dreams for your future together.
When you write your own wedding vows, you have your own words to reference in the future. Your custom wedding vows can serve as a guide to support your relationship from that first day and through the years to come.
Reason #8: Your Children and Grandchildren Will Love Seeing Your Vows
My grandmother got married in 1956. She has three minutes of video footage from her wedding day that a friend captured. There’s no sound and the imagery is quite blurry. Still, I managed to make out a few seconds of my grandma in her tea length wedding dress and my grandfather smiling.
I adored seeing this footage—despite how little there was to actually view.
Imagine your future children and grandchildren being able to hear the vows you two make. This is a special gift that the entire family will cherish and will no doubt be inspired by.
Reason #9: Your Guests Will Be Intrigued
If someone is attending your wedding, they love and care about you. Your guests will be interested to hear what you have to say about your fiancé when you’re standing at the altar.
Writing custom wedding vows is like giving your guests a peek into your relationship in a more unique and personal way. Plus, for folks on your fiancés side, they’ll get to hear how you feel for potentially the first time.
Reason #10: You Can Create a Date Night Around Vow Writing
It’s kind of ironic but in the midst of wedding planning, it’s your relationship that can often be neglected.
Writing your custom wedding vows is one wedding planning task that you can turn into a date night.
Pour your favorite wine and put on a playlist of special songs to get the creativity and romance flowing. Having a wedding vow writing date night is a fun way to share some quality time while getting this wedding planning task completed.
Reason #11: You Can Write Custom Vows and Read Traditional Vows
Many couples like the idea of writing personalized wedding vows but they don’t want to give up the traditional vows. You don’t have to!
Write your own wedding vows and keep them on the shorter side—one to three minutes. Then also have your officiant read the traditional wedding vows. This is a way to balance both set of vows.
Additionally, in many cases, there are officiants or religious organizations who object to custom wedding vows. Here are six tips for how to write your own wedding vows when your church won’t allow it.
Reason #12: You Get to Hear How Your Fiancé Feels
Who doesn’t enjoy hearing what someone loves about us? When you choose to write custom wedding vows for your fiancé, that also means you get to hear from your fiancé about what they feel about you.
Knowing the words your fiancé says on your wedding day are from their heart will mean much more to you than templated traditional vows. It’s the personal thought and delivery that will make your wedding ceremony more meaningful.
Reason #13: You Can Use Vow Booklets
When you write custom wedding vows, you have the ability to include personalized accessories like wedding vow booklets. You can choose vow booklets that match your wedding colors or have your names embossed on the cover for next-level personalization.
Reason #14: You Can Revisit Your Vows
Having custom written wedding vows gives you something unique to revisit on your wedding anniversary. Perhaps you’ll celebrate by reading your vows to each other every year. Or maybe you’ll add to your vows over the years as you two and your marriage evolve.
The point is you have vows that are custom to you both so you can choose how you honor and celebrate those vows throughout your marriage.
Reason #15: Custom Vow Writing is a Creative Outlet
If you’re a person who tends to express yourself creatively, you should consider writing custom wedding vows. This is your opportunity to express your feelings for your fiancé in an authentic way.
Are you a songwriter? Why not write your own vows in the form of lyrics? Perhaps you’re more of a poet—then write your custom wedding vows as a poem.
Custom wedding vows should reflect who you are so have fun with the process.
Reason #16: Custom Vows Put Your Relationship First
Wedding planning can be stressful and overwhelming. In-between dress fittings and reviewing floral designs, it can be easy to lose sight of why you’re getting married in the first place.
When you write custom wedding vows, the focus is put back on your love. As you write about what your fiancé means to you and what promises you wish to make for your marriage, relish in the meaning of your relationship. May the words you write be the driving force behind your wedding planning.