9 Signs You Should Hire a Wedding Vow Writer

As you plan your wedding, you’ll work with several wedding vendors. From hiring a wedding planner to researching calligraphers for your wedding invitations—you know who you need to hire to help with the various parts of your wedding day.

But there’s one wedding vendor title that has likely escaped you—the wedding vow writer.  

If you’re like most engaged couples, you’ve never heard of a wedding vow writer or understand what sort of value they can add to your wedding ceremony.

My name is Katelyn Stanis and I’m the creator of Wedding Words, a vow and toast writing service. I’m a professional wedding vow writer here to help you learn if you should hire a wedding vow writer.

Sign #1: You want a personalized wedding: If your goal is to plan a personalized wedding, you should write your own wedding vows. Reading how you personally feel about your fiancé, your relationship, and your promises for your future marriage is much more unique than simply reciting traditional wedding vows.

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Sign #2: You want to avoid stress: Does the idea of sitting down to write your own wedding vows give you anxiety? The number one things my clients tell me after working together is that hiring me to write their vows removed all of their stress. Wouldn’t that be a nice feeling in the mist of wedding planning?

Sign #3: You have trouble talking about feelings: Do you struggle with articulating the mushy love stuff? You may feel a lot in your heart but do not know how to articulate those emotions into words. The even bigger challenge? How can those articulated words actually sound like you?

This is where a vow writer can help. You don’t have to worry about what to say. When I work with couples, we have a video call where I ask the right questions that allow you to express your love story in your own words. Then I take your words and polish them into custom wedding vows.

Sign #4: You’re busy: Let’s face it—sometimes we hire people not because we can’t do the work but because we’re too busy with other things. It’s just like hiring a wedding planner for full planning services. You might be able to juggle the logistics of wedding planning but a wedding planner takes over so you can focus on other things. When you hire a wedding vow writer, you don’t have to worry about this important wedding task. You can relax knowing it’s going to get done and be the best that it can be.

Sign #5: You believe love is in the details: As you design your wedding experience, are you the bride who takes pride in the perfect shade of lilac for the napkins and the font type for your invitations?

You know that making a memorable wedding is all about the details. Your wedding vows are the focal point of your wedding ceremony—take pride in having them sound as uniquely you.

Sign #6: You hired a wedding cinematographer: Will a wedding videographer be capturing your big day? If so, you’ll want beautifully written, custom wedding vows. Wedding cinematographers rely on the custom vows and toasts at a wedding to help create cherished wedding videos.

Check out our interview with wedding cinematographer Scott Patterson to learn what he thinks of custom wedding vows.

Sign #7: You’re not a very traditional couple: Are you having a themed wedding? If you’re a couple who embraces nontraditional design and execution, ditch the traditional wedding vows and write custom wedding vows. Your wedding ceremony will feel and sound much more like you.

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Sign #8: You have a public speaking fear: Writing your own wedding vows is the first step. But then how do you actually overcome your public speaking fear so you are able to say your wedding vows in front of your wedding guests?

At Wedding Words, when a client has approved a final copy of their wedding vows, I create a customized video for them. During this video, I walk through their wedding vows and provide tips for how to comfortably and confidently deliver their vows. I’ve been told by clients who rave about working together that this is one of their favorite parts of the process.

Sign #9: You’re not a writer: Are you planning to bake your own wedding cake or sew your bridesmaid dresses? Unless you’re a professional baker or seamstress, the answer is likely no. Why feel like you need to write your own wedding vows if you’re not a writer?

Many of the couples I work with fear that by using a vow writer, it won’t feel as personal. In fact, the results are quite the opposite. When we work together, my goal is always to take what’s in your heart and convey those feelings into words that sound just like you and articulate exactly what you want to say.

Curious to learn more about what it’d be like to collaborate on your own wedding vows? Check out the vow writing process in more detail and then let’s connect.  

10 Tips for How to Write Your Own Wedding Vows in Less than 24 Hours

Writing your own wedding vows can be a stressful and overwhelming wedding task. This might be why many couples procrastinate writing their custom wedding vows until days and sometimes hours before their wedding ceremony.

Are you struggling to write your own wedding vows and your wedding ceremony is less than a day away? If you’re worried about how you’ll write your personalized wedding vows in time, I’ve got you covered.

As a wedding vow writer and the creator of Wedding Words, I collaborate with couples to write custom wedding vows. Here are 10 tips for how to write your own wedding vows in less than 24 hours.

Tip #1: Formulate a Plan: I grew up hearing my dad say, “If you fail to plan—you plan to fail.”

Not only did I like the poetic sound of that sentence but the advice is sound. You should design a plan for how to write your wedding vows if you wish to complete them within a short timeframe.

Identify which parts of your day that you have availability. Block out this time for vow writing. The key is to find at least two hours to write your wedding vows.

When you discover the best time of the day for those two hours—commit to it. Other things may come up but if you can treat those two hours like you would any other appointment, you will get your vows written.

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Tip #2: Prioritize: Analyze everything you need to do for the day. Rank each task in order of priority and begin working through each job in that order.

This will guarantee that the most important wedding tasks get completed while the other less vital things don’t overtake your time.

Tip #3: Consider Odd Times: Your day might already be fully scheduled. How can you find time for vow writing?

What if you woke up one hour earlier? If you’re more of a night owl, could you stay up an hour later and write your wedding vows the night before your wedding ceremony?

Whenever it is—consider moments throughout your day when you can make the most of your time.   

Tip #4: Go Somewhere Discrete: Do not attempt to write your wedding vows in your own home. Something will inevitably pop up and interrupt you.

Your girlfriends will drop by or your fiancé will need you. Go somewhere for a few hours where no one will be vying for your attention.

Plus, there are less distractions in a coffee shop or park than in your home. You won’t be tempted to empty the dishwasher or do a load of laundry—all really disguised efforts that further procrastinate vow writing.  

Tip #5: Shut Off Your Phone: It’s scary, I know. But trust me—shutting off your phone is the single best thing you can do to ensure your wedding vows get written.

Otherwise, endless texts and calls will distract you from getting much accomplished.

Tip #6: Remove Any Distractions: While your phone can be the biggest distraction, consider what else might sidetrack you from vow writing. If you’re using your computer to write your vows, stay off of Facebook!

It’s easy to get sucked into things like social media and cat videos but power through vow writing by avoiding these distraction black holes.

Tip #7: Delegate Tasks: The day before your wedding will be packed with last minute errands. You do not need to be the one to pick up the place cards or to drop off the final cake payment.

Delegate these last minute wedding related tasks to someone in your wedding party or to a close family member. Your time is better spent writing your custom wedding vows.

Tip #8: Ask for Help: Who says you need to endure this wedding task alone? You’ve had help with picking out your wedding dress and designing the floral arrangements—seek reinforcements for writing your custom wedding vows.

Call your maid of honor for help. When you’re stuck trying to determine what to focus on within your wedding vows, she can provide guidance. Have her recall the first time she met your fiancé. What was her impression?

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Have her remind you of the stories you told about your fiancé during those early stages of your relationship.

Often we’re too close to our own relationship to understand what to articulate. Getting outside perspective will spark inspiration and help you to regain focus.

Tip #9: Embrace a Judgement Free Zone: As you write your personalized wedding vows, respect each thought. Part of the vow writing process is working through ideas.

As you begin writing your wedding vows, don’t judge if an idea is good or bad—just get it down on paper.

Just write a first draft. It’s about progress over perfection. Once you have a first draft completed, reference these tips for how to edit your own wedding vows.

Tip #10: Get in the Zone: When you sit down to begin writing your unique wedding vows, really go for it. You’ve blocked out this time for vow writing. Don’t let thoughts of tomorrow mornings hair appointment enter your mind.

Focus on your fiancé and your love story. Remember—it’s because of your love for each other that you are having a wedding. Now is your time to honor and express how you feel.

To help kick start your vow writing process, try following these vow writing prompts or reference these tips for writing personalized wedding vows.

How to Write Your Own Wedding Vows Using 5 Wedding Vow Writing Prompts

Writing your own wedding vows is a wonderful way to make your wedding ceremony more unique and special. But how do you begin to write custom wedding vows?

As a wedding vow writer and creator of Wedding Words, I collaborate with couples to write personalized wedding vows. I can tell you that a trick to writing anything—not just your wedding vows—starts with utilizing writing prompts.

A writing prompt is an exercise where you’re given a question to inspire a written response. Think of it as a way to get your creative muscles warmed up.

How to begin with writing prompts: Grab your journal, a pen, and get setup in a comfortable spot. You’re about to free-write responses to each of the below writing prompts.

To do this, I suggest setting a timer for each prompt for five to ten minutes. It’s a good idea to limit the amount of time you have to respond to each question. The time is long enough to allow your subconscious to take over as you write but not too long that you become stuck with what to keep writing.

As you write, challenge and encourage yourself to keep your pen to paper during the entire prompt. No need to stop and ponder—what should I write next?

Just keep writing—even when you don’t know what to say. If this happens, simply write, “I don’t know what to say next…”

When you follow this pen to paper method, ideas will flow more freely than if you stop. Keep working through any blocks by continuously writing.

Lastly, it’s important to remember that while you work through these writing prompts for your custom wedding vows, it’s a judgement free zone. These exercises are almost like doing a brainstorm and there are no wrong ideas in a brainstorm. You can edit ideas later. For now, embrace any thought that comes to mind and capture it down on paper.

When you’re done, you’ll have real material you can use to polish into your own unique wedding vows.

Let’s begin.

How did you know this is the person you want to spend your life with? Really consider this question. Deciding to marry your fiancé is a conscious choice. What was the moment you realized this was your person? How did you feel? Why this person?

How has your fiancé shown their love for you? We all show our love in different ways. Just look at the five love languages concept. When you think about how your fiancé shows love, consider how that makes you feel. Why does it mean something to you? Why does it feel good to you?

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When you think of this relationship compared to others you’ve had, what makes this one uniquely special? Chances are you’ve dated other people before deciding to commit your lives to one another. So why this person and not the people that came before?

As humans, it’s our nature to compare things next to each other. Why is your fiancé so much better than any other relationship you’ve experienced before?

While it may seem odd to contemplate past romances as you write your wedding vows, trust in the process. This is my favorite question to ask couples during our video interview because it’s something we don’t really consider but when we do, lots of good material will come to mind.

How does your fiancé make you feel? Jot down words that describe how you feel being around your fiancé and how they have changed you and your life. If general adjectives like “happy” or “loved” come to mind, dig deeper to find specifics.

In what ways exactly does your fiancé make you feel happy or loved? Perhaps you can write a short anecdote to describe a time your fiancé made you feel that way.

What excites you about your future together? Writing your wedding vows is not only about highlighting the things you love about your fiancé but it’s also about noting promises for your marriage.

As you free-write using this prompt, picture your future marriage. Imagine what it will look like two years, seven years, twenty years, forty years from now. How will your marriage evolve? What do you promise to bring to your marriage each year?

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What to do once you’re done with the writing prompts: Once you’ve completed the writing prompts, it’s time to use this material to write your own custom wedding vows.

Compile your notes and review them. Which sentences really capture how you feel and what you want to express during your wedding ceremony? Circle or highlight the phrases that stand out to you.

These highlighted sections are the parts you can use to construct your wedding vows.

If you’re still struggling to fully form your thoughts, consider hiring help. As a professional wedding vow writer, I work with brides and grooms to write completely custom wedding vows.

Get in touch. I’d love to hear your love story.

How to Create a Unique Wedding Experience — Expert Advice from Master Wedding Planner, JoAnn Moore

At Wedding Words, we love hearing how couples can create more personalized wedding experiences. For all you Colorado couples, this is the interview for you.

Wedding Words spoke with Master Wedding Planner, JoAnn Moore, owner of JoAnn Moore Weddings.

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JoAnn Moore has been planning weddings and events for over 30 years and is known for her unique and unforgettable weddings. Whether it’s on top of a snow covered mountain top or at a scenic vineyard, JoAnn Moore Weddings designs one-of-a-kind wedding experiences.

JoAnn Moore Weddings is an industry leader having earned awards such as The Knot’s Hall of Fame, Wedding Wires Couples Choice, and Vail Resorts Iconic Wedding Planner.

During our interview, JoAnn Moore shares her professional feedback on how couples can create a wedding that is unique to them and memorable for their guests.

Tell us about your business. How did you get started? 

I actually started working events and planning festivals for the town of Vail like the 4th of July parade and their Tree Lighting Ceremony with President Gerald Ford and his family. It just kept going from there.  

As a volunteer in the beginning, I was noticed for my out-of-the box creative ideas. I was asked to work even more on additional events and festivals for pay.

I thought—you mean I could actually get paid to do this work?

With this, I was hooked with the planning of special events. From there, an acquaintance saw my work and imagination and asked if I would plan his daughter’s wedding. I said yes and loved the details of wedding planning.

I planned a few more weddings and announced to my husband that I thought I had found my passion. He encouraged me to get the training and knowledge I would need and so I did.

I went from working in a hospital as a Respiratory Therapist (Cardio-Pulmonary) to planning full on and amazing weddings and events. You could say I went from working with the “sick heart to the love sick heart.”

I’ve never looked back.

You've been titled as the only Certified Professional Wedding Consultant in Colorado, according to the Association of Certified Professional Wedding Consultants. Can you explain a bit about what this means?

I trained with some of the very best in the industry, from the Association of Bridal Consultants (ABC) an international association, to The Association of Certified Professional Wedding Consultants, (ACPWP) to name just a few.

I’ve earned the title of Master Wedding Planner from ABC. It’s an extremely difficult task to accomplish this honor. It included years of education, years of experience with planning weddings of all styles and sizes, and to working in the wedding industry representing the industry in a very professional and positive way.

I had to produce projects they assigned me at the time, and then applied to be tested for this title, which included a face-to-face conversation and presentation to a board of wedding experts.

I did pass but this took years. It’s not easy and the title isn’t handed out just because I finished a course, or wrote a paper. Because of this title’s challenges and hurdles to achieve, there are only around 80 Master Wedding Planners from ABC.

Sasha Sousa, for example, is a Master.  I have also earned the title of Certified Professional Wedding Consultant with ACPWC—an extremely difficult task. There are similar challenges and education requirements. Since these are challenging titles to achieve there are few of us with these titles in the industry.

How are you different than other wedding planners in the Rocky Mountain area? 

I love all types weddings and enjoy the challenge of making each and every one of the weddings I plan as unique and special as my clients. I understand what it takes to make a special event, special. No cookie cutter weddings here.

  Julia Wade Photography

Julia Wade Photography

Most of my weddings are destination weddings. My clients are traveling from outside the town, state, or country. As a result, I sometimes need to have 3:00 a.m. Skype calls with clients.

I like to learn their wedding vision and which details are important to the couple. I’m privileged to work in the great outdoors including mountain tops, ranches, and acreage without infrastructure—all spaces that can bring fun challenges.

I do work in some amazing hotels, ballrooms, private homes, clubhouse venues, and mountain cabins as well. I’ve been extremely fortunate to have had the opportunity to work in some of the most breathtaking locations with views highlighting Mother Nature’s best work.

  Adam Beach Photography

Adam Beach Photography

I can’t say enough about how hard my team of wedding professionals work but the results are worth every second of it. Plus, to have my clients and their family and friends vow to return to the mountains again because the wedding we planned was the best wedding they had ever attended—it makes my day perfect!

What kind of couples do you typically work with?

From the couple with the sweetest love story to professionals who have a vision but no time to plan their wedding celebration—I work with all types of couples.

I have been fortunate to work with celebrities, politicians and professional athletes as well. Most come to Colorado for an authentic Colorado experience for their family and friends. They don’t want just a wedding—they want a wedding celebration with off the chart experiences to go with it.

  Jackie Cooper Photography

Jackie Cooper Photography

Summer weddings might include white water rafting trips, hiking, mountain bike riding, or exploring the history of the state. Then the wedding ceremony might happen on top of a mountain, at a beautiful ranch, or vineyard with spectacular views.

The wedding with a view is big in the spring, summer and fall celebrations. Winter weddings are for those who want a ski-winter style wedding celebration with all the beauty and elegance a mountain winter brings. They might enjoy the memories they have of their own special trips and family ski vacations with their families growing up.

Some couples know and love our local clergy. Some want the most amazing photos enjoying the views and great outdoors. Whatever the reason, I find ways to make it work for them!

I have one chance to get it right and I get it right.

What are the various ways you work with couples to design a custom wedding experience? 

I first want to know what they enjoy doing together and what type of experiences they want for their guests.

I present various ideas, depending on the season for their wedding celebration. I speak with some of the most amazing and talented wedding professionals to assist with the planning of something unique and personal for each and every one of my couples.

Some want everything organic and outdoorsy, others want the magic of an elegant winter wedding or extraordinary design and colors while other couples want a cozy cabin on top of a mountain to celebrate and watch the sun set.

  Julia Wade Photography

Julia Wade Photography

I enjoy making their visions come to life—whatever that vision might be.

What are some specific things couples can do to personalize their wedding day?

Couples should always be uniquely themselves. They don’t need to try and impress or imitate someone else’s wedding day.

Bring in elements that celebrate who they are together. A recent couple I worked with loves to travel. We used that theme throughout the food stations by providing a variety of food that was inspired from where they had traveled together. We added photos of the couple in each of the amazing locations.

Family traditions are another favorite. A bride was honored when she was asked to wear a veil from her groom’s family. She would be the twelfth bride to wear the heirloom veil.

There was a groom who used his great grandfather’s Civil War sword to cut the cake.

I also worked with a couple who planted a tree to “watch their love grow.” Their wedding favors were evergreen seedlings for guests to plant in their own yards. This idea keeps the guests remembering the day and the unique couple.

I do recommend couples find a signature item or activity for the day to make the wedding stand out in their own personal way.

 What has been your favorite wedding to plan? What was involved? 

I don’t’ really claim a favorite wedding but I do love when unique weddings all come together into something that wows the couple and their guests.

A recent wedding at a Colorado ranch had so many details and décor items. On paper the wedding planning looked overwhelming. When all set up, the bride cried when she walked into her wedding venue. Those are my favorite moments—when I don’t just bring it all together for couples but we exceed their expectations.

As a wedding planner, what are your thoughts on couples writing personalized wedding vows? 

I do encourage couples to write something from the heart and make it unique to them. For the couple who is more fun and silly, they could find writing romantic wedding vows as something that would make their guest giggle and simply wouldn’t be their style.

For couples who are unsure if writing their own wedding vows falls in-line with their personal style, I provide a few reminders:

1.     I review their wedding vows. It’s awkward to have a bride with six-page long wedding vows and a groom with only two paragraphs. I like to coach them a bit to ensure their vows will complement each other versus underwhelming the other.

2.     Be respectful of the guests witnessing the wedding vows. If the vow content includes items too personal, then I encourage a love letter instead. This love letter can be read separate from the wedding ceremony when it’s just the two of them.

3.     Take your emotions into consideration. For example, will you get emotional, be holding back tears or too giggly? For me, I’m an ugly crier so my wedding vows needed to be short and sweet.

  Kelly Lemon Photography

Kelly Lemon Photography

What advice do you give to most couples on their actual wedding day? 

I ask the couple to stop and take in the ceremony before they walk to the altar. Look around the church or venue. Look at the people who are there because they played an important part in their lives to get to that very moment. They will remember that vision for the rest of their lives.

I also remind the couple to let the little stuff go that might not seem perfect. If they choose to dwell on the fact that the shade of pink on the roses wasn’t exactly right or the lead singer for the band was out sick, they won’t enjoy their day.

The little imperfections make for better memories down the road.

When a couple says, “…but this is the most important day of my life,” I know in my heart it’s only one of the many important days they’ll share together.

(Photo Cover Credit: Kelly Lemon Photography)

16 Reasons Why You Should Write Custom Wedding Vows

There are endless decisions to make while planning your wedding. Veil or flower crown? Tiered cake or doughnut bar? Where should we seat Aunt Margrot? 

Among every wedding-related choice, the one that frequently stumps couples is this question: should I write my own wedding vows?

As a wedding vow writer and creator of Wedding Words, I’m perhaps a bit biased. I believe custom written wedding vows are one of the most special and personal things you can do on your wedding day.

Still scratching your head and wondering if you should write your own wedding vows or go the traditional wedding vow route? Here are 16 reasons why you should write your own wedding vows.

It’s the Single Best Way to Personalize Your Wedding: Wedding personalization is huge and arguably the largest wedding trend. Most couples want to design a wedding that feels like them.

You can choose your favorite flowers, turn up your personal playlist, and opt for a doughnut bar instead of a traditional wedding cake but if you really want to take wedding personalization to the next level, write your own custom wedding vows.

There’s nothing more personal than detailing how you feel and expressing your love story in your own words during your wedding ceremony.

Custom Vows Cater to All Relationship Types: Old school wedding vows are not exactly inclusive for LGBT weddings. If you’re a gay couple, custom wedding vows are written to match your unique love story. You’re in the driver’s seat and have control over what you want to be said and how you want it to be said during your wedding ceremony.

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Your Wedding Cinematographer Will Thank You: Are you planning to have a wedding video? Just ask your cinematographer—the best way to add more sentiment and personalization to your wedding video is by reading your own custom wedding vows.  

Wedding cinematographer, Scott Patterson, owner of Life’s Highlights encourages all couples to write their own personalized wedding vows.

“Custom vows allow for your personalities to shine through while also providing a window through which we see what your relationship with one another is really like,” Scott Patterson said. “Whether funny, sentimental, poetic, or emotional—personalized vows gives everyone a glimpse into what makes your relationship unique. I can’t stress this enough—do custom wedding vows!”

It Provides Foundation: Why are you choosing to marry your fiancé? As a wedding vow writer, this is my favorite question to ask during our video interview call.

Have you ever asked yourself that question?

It’s an interesting one to consider. Often marriage is viewed as the next sensible step in a serious and loving relationship. But when you remember it’s a real choice and consider why you’re making it, a flood of deeply meaningful reasons will often come to mind.

The reasons behind why you’re choosing to marry your fiancé are special. Use custom written wedding vows as a way to express those feelings with your fiancé.  

You Don’t Have to be a Writer to Write Your Own Wedding Vows: Worried about writing your own wedding vows because you’re not a writer? You don’t need to be!

Just like you’d hire a seamstress to alter your wedding dress, you can hire a wedding vow writer to write your unique wedding vows.

At Wedding Words, I collaborate with couples to write completely custom wedding vows. We talk over a video interview where I learn your unique love story. I then provide you with a first draft of your wedding vows to review.

It’s a very collaborate process so this is the time when you provide feedback. I edit the draft for you to review again. By the end of the process you receive custom wedding vows that sound exactly like you and are tailored to your personalized story.

Couples have provided rave reviews about the process and the end result.

Your Wedding Vows Will Become a Cherished Keepsake: The Knot ranks wedding photography as one of the areas worth splurging on when it comes to wedding planning.

We agree. It’s your wedding photographs that will live on long past the ceremony and reception celebration.

When you choose to write custom wedding vows instead of reading the traditional wedding vows, you are creating an additional wedding keepsake. Love and Lavender shows several creative ways for how you can transform your custom wedding vows into artwork.  

 This adorable custom vow wall art can be found at this  Etsy shop .

This adorable custom vow wall art can be found at this Etsy shop.

They Serve as a Reminder Throughout Your Marriage: Throughout your marriage, you’ll celebrate in the joyful moments but you’ll also work to endure through the challenging times.

Your wedding vows can serve as an anchor to ground you as a couple. It’s your wedding vows, these promises made to each other, that will remind you of why you chose to get married and your dreams for your future together.

When you write your own wedding vows, you have your own words to reference in the future. Your custom wedding vows can serve as a guide to support your relationship from that first day and through the years to come.

Your Children and Grandchildren Will Love It: My grandmother got married in 1956. She has three minutes of video footage from her wedding day that a friend captured. There’s no sound and the imagery is quite blurry. Still, I managed to make out a few seconds of my grandma in her tea length wedding dress and my grandfather smiling.

I adored seeing this footage—despite how little there was to actually view.

Imagine your future children and grandchildren being able to hear the vows you two make. This is a special gift that the entire family will cherish and will no doubt be inspired by.

Your Guests Will Be Intrigued: If someone is attending your wedding, they love and care about you. Your guests will be interested to hear what you have to say about your fiancé when you’re standing at the altar.

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Writing custom wedding vows is like giving your guests a peek into your relationship in a more unique and personal way. Plus, for folks on your fiancés side, they’ll get to hear how you feel for potentially the first time.

You Can Create a Date Night Around Vow Writing: It’s kind of ironic but in the midst of wedding planning, it’s your relationship that can often be neglected.

Writing your custom wedding vows is one wedding planning task that you can turn into a date night.

Pour your favorite wine and put on a playlist of special songs to get the creativity and romance flowing.  Having a wedding vow writing date night is a fun way to share some quality time while getting this wedding planning task completed.

You Can Write Custom Vows and Read Traditional Vows: Many couples like the idea of writing personalized wedding vows but they don’t want to give up the traditional vows. You don’t have to!

Write your own wedding vows and keep them on the shorter side—one to three minutes. Then also have your officiant read the traditional wedding vows. This is a way to balance both set of vows.

Additionally, in many cases, there are officiants or religious organizations who object to custom wedding vows. Here are six tips for how to write your own wedding vows when your church won’t allow it.

You Get to Hear How Your Fiancé Feels: Who doesn’t enjoy hearing what someone loves about us? When you choose to write custom wedding vows for your fiancé, that also means you get to hear from your fiancé about what they feel about you.

Knowing the words your fiancé says on your wedding day are from their heart will mean much more to you than templated traditional vows. It’s the personal thought and delivery that will make your wedding ceremony more meaningful.

You Can Use Vow Booklets: When you write custom wedding vows, you have the ability to include personalized accessories like wedding vow booklets. You can choose vow booklets that match your wedding colors or have your names embossed on the cover for next-level personalization.

You Can Revisit Your Vows: Having custom written wedding vows gives you something unique to revisit on your wedding anniversary. Perhaps you’ll celebrate by reading your vows to each other every year. Or maybe you’ll add to your vows over the years as you two and your marriage evolve.

The point is you have vows that are custom to you both so you can choose how you honor and celebrate those vows throughout your marriage.

It’s a Creative Outlet: If you’re a person who tends to express yourself creatively, you should consider writing custom wedding vows. This is your opportunity to express your feelings for your fiancé in an authentic way.

Are you a songwriter? Why not write your own vows in the form of lyrics? Perhaps you’re more of a poet—then write your custom wedding vows as a poem.

Custom wedding vows should reflect who you are so have fun with the process.

It Puts Your Relationship First: Wedding planning can be stressful and overwhelming. In-between dress fittings and reviewing floral designs, it can be easy to lose sight of why you’re getting married in the first place.

When you write custom wedding vows, the focus is put back on your love. As you write about what your fiancé means to you and what promises you wish to make for your marriage, relish in the meaning of your relationship. May the words you write be the driving force behind your wedding planning.