5 Tips for How to Create a Wedding Vow Writing Date Night

When I asked a bride I recently worked with, “What do you wish for your future husband,” her response made me giggle. However, I think most grooms-to-be would empathize with her fiancé.

“Well, I know what he’d say,” she began. “He’d want his life back from all this nonstop wedding talk and planning!”

Wedding planning can be stressful and can cause strain on relationships. Which is ironic considering the entire reason you’re planning a wedding is because of your relationship. So how do you check off everything from your wedding to-do list while still showing some love to your relationship?

Writing your wedding vows is the perfect opportunity to put the focus back to where it matters most—on your relationship.

Now maybe I’m biased as a professional wedding vow writer, but I believe the ceremony and wedding vows are the most important part of your wedding day. After all, that whole “I do” part is the reason you have a wedding. Despite this fact, many brides and grooms stress out over vow writing and procrastinate the task until days—sometimes hours—before the wedding ceremony.

Writing your wedding vows does not need to be a stress fest or something he does in-between getting his boutonniere pinned to his jacket. If done right, you’ll not only come up with beautifully written vows that speak to what’s in your heart but you’ll also both enjoy the process.

Your fiancé is craving more quality time with you during this crazy wedding planning phase of your lives so turn this wedding task into a date night. Here are my five tips for how to make writing your vows a romantic night for two.

Tip #1: Schedule It: Set aside time to write your vows just like you’d schedule time to meet with your wedding planner or to attend your dress fitting. Schedule time with your fiancé for your vow writing date night. Be sure to choose a time that is full-proof to actually happen. Meaning, it’s not a night he might have to work late or you might get stuck working through a seating chart snafu with the wedding planner. Find the time, schedule it, and commit to making it happen.

Tip #2: Choose an Inspiring Setting: Where will you feel most inspired to write your vows? Maybe it’s the location of your first date? Perhaps it’s the park where he proposed or the beach where you have shared countless day dates together? Getting out of your home and into a setting that doesn’t have laundry to fold or dishes to clean will help set the mood and free your mind. Also, choosing a location that has some sort of connection to your relationship will help to stir up past memories that you could use within your vows.

Tip #3: Remove All Distractions: This is date night so turn your phones to silent, keep Netflix off, and stay away from Facebook. Create space to be with each other, free from interruptions.

Tip #4: Ditch Digital and Kick It Old School: I have two reasons for leaving your laptop and phone at home. First, while choosing these digital devices to write your vows may seem practical, it’s not romantic. Typically when our partner is glued to his phone, we might feel neglected. So having this connotation during vow writing date night is not conducive to the lovey dovey vibes you want to feel. Plus, it’s so tempting to answer that text your BFF just sent (It had the two dancing girls emoji!). Secondly, studies have shown that your brain functions differently when putting pen to actual paper. Your subconscious takes over and you’ll be in more of a state of flow—perfect for wedding vow writing!

Tip #5: Balance Writing with Reminiscing: This date night is different than most considering you also need quiet time to write your vows. The best way to complete your vow writing while also having quality time together is to balance the writing part with reminiscing about your relationship together. Ask each other questions to spark old memories. Ask questions like, “What was your favorite part of our first date?” or “When did you first realize you loved me?” It’s so fun to reminisce the mushy love details of your relationship. Plus, you’ll both feel reenergized discussing what you love about each other rather than if you should offer your wedding guests the chicken or fish.  

Those are my five tips for how to turn wedding vow writing into a memorable date night. I’d love to hear from you! What has the process been like for you and your fiancé to write your vows? Have you already tried a wedding vow writing date night? What tips do you have for weaving in more romance throughout the wedding planning?