For many engaged couples, choosing a non-religious wedding ceremony is their preference.
If you and your fiancé do not follow a traditional religious path, celebrate with non-religious wedding vows.
You can ditch the “I take thee” traditional vow approach and instead write your own, personalized and non-religious wedding vows using these seven tips.
Tip #1—Highlight Your Beliefs
Just because you don’t believe in a specific religion, does not mean you don’t have strong beliefs that guide and ground you.
Brainstorm a list of what values, experiences, and qualities you do believe in.
Perhaps there are values that both you and your fiancé share. For example, you might share similar family values or community service values.
Once you complete your brainstorm, review the list. Which items do you connect with most? Which do you feel will be most important in your marriage?
Consider outlining these values within your non-religious wedding vows to show what will anchor your relationship throughout the years.
Tip #2—Communicate Faith in Your Fiancé
You likely have faith in the person you are choosing to marry. Describe the faith you have in your partner. Detail out why this is important to you and how it’s different than anything you’ve felt in the past.
Being able to have faith in another person is a strong endeavor and something vital to a long lasting marriage. Make sure your fiancé knows how much faith you have in them when you read your non-religious vows.
Tip #3—Acknowledge the Hard Times
While you won’t be reciting religious wedding vows, you can take inspiration from those vows: “…for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health…”
Marriage will have its joys and challenges. To prepare for the journey ahead, acknowledge your expectations and how you plan to act throughout every season of marriage.
Here are some examples for how you might achieve this within your nondenominational wedding vows.
It doesn’t matter what life throws at us, I know it will be okay because I have you by my side.
I promise to fight fair, to forgive fast, and to support you through every challenge that might come our way.
We’ve been challenged in the past and I know we’ll have challenges in the future but together, I know we can triumph through anything.
Do you see how within these vow examples, there’s an acknowledgement of challenges while also noting how the couple will prevail? Aim to achieve this balance.
Tip #4—Include Aspects of Your Personality
What things are unique to your relationship? Do you share a love for exploring the outdoors or are you both huge Red Wing fans?
Include a sentence or two about your shared interests. This is a perfect way to make your vows more personalized to you both as a couple.
Here are some examples:
Whether we’re enjoying our favorite bottle of scotch or checking travel destinations off of our bucket list together, my life is more abundant and fun because of you.
Together, we’ve literally climbed mountains. We’ve traveled long dirt roads. We’ve explored countless cultures. Life with you is always an adventure and I can’t wait for this next chapter to unfold.
When we first met at the Yankees baseball game, I knew you were special.
See how these specific details add to the personalization of your non-religious wedding vows? It can be as simple as noting the exact venue where you met or you can go into more detail about your shared interests.
The idea is to get specific when you mention aspects of your personality as part of your wedding vows.
Tip #5—Mention Support of Family and Friends
Throughout your relationship, there have been other important relationships that have helped to encourage you and show support to you both.
How has their love enhanced your relationship? How has your best friend or your sister inspired growth in your relationship?
Often times, outside help of family and friends can help make a relationship strong. Consider using this concept as an area to focus on within your non-religious wedding vows.
Tip #6—Choose Your Own Non-Religious Reading
While you won’t be using a bible verse or religious reading within your wedding vows, do consider using a non-religious reading within your vows.
Flip through your favorite books of poems for inspiration or use a famous quote you both admire.
Choose a non-religious, romantic reading or quote that captures your relationship. Add it to your vows to increase the impact of what you are trying to convey to your love.
Tip #7—Work with a Vow Expert to Write Your Non-Religious Vows
It might have been an easy decision to choose to write your own vows but actually writing the vows is the not-so-easy part.
Connect with Katelyn Stanis, vow expert, to learn more about how you could work together to create your non-religious wedding vows.
Non-Religious Vow Script Example
Another option is for you to reference this vow script. Use this vow sample as a guide and edit it to make your own non-religious vows even more personalized.
Jason, you are my best friend, my teammate, and my partner for life.
Together we share in the belief that every day we should wake up as a better person than we were yesterday. You inspire me to learn from my mistakes, to grow taller from my shortcomings, and to turn any challenge into a positive blessing.
Today, I give you my hand to hold and my heart to have. WIth that, you’ll forever feel my support. I believe in you from the dreams you haven’t even conjured up yet to the life that you’ve already built for us.
As one of our favorite quotes says, “To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage.”
I promise to love you deeply.
I promise to give you courage.
I promise to love you now and always for all of my days.