Mother of the Groom Speech: 6 Parts to Writing the Perfect Toast

You have one huge responsibility at this wedding—to give a memorable mother of the groom speech. How do you write a mother of the groom speech that honors your son, welcomes a new family into yours, and balances humor with sentimental feelings? Have no fear, I’m here to help.

As a professional wedding vow and speech writer, I’ll walk you through the key aspects to creating an impactful mother of the groom speech.

Here’s an outline I created to help you write your speech:

·      Introduce Yourself

·      Thank the Guests

·      Talk about your Son

·      Talk about your new Daughter or Son-in-Law

·      Explain Why Their Marriage Makes You Happy

·      Close with a Wish for the Couple

This may sound overwhelming but don’t worry—I’ll go into more detail to describe what each section means. When you follow this format, your speech will flow seamlessly and it will address every key aspect of what a mother of the groom speech should include.

Introduce Yourself

While it may seem obvious as to what your role is at this wedding, not everyone will already know who you are. Begin your speech by stating who you are in relation to the couple.

Examples:

·      Good evening everyone. My name is Martha and I’m the mother of the groom.

·      Hello everyone! I’m Martha, the proudest mother of any groom that there ever was.

·      My name is Martha, the mother of the groom, and I want to thank you for being here today.

This sets the stage for your speech by stating a clear fact. Everyone will understand what is about to happen—the mother of the groom is going to give a speech.

This is also a nice way to begin your speech if you have a fear of public speaking. When we’re scared to speak in front of a room full of people, it can help to say something “easy.”

In other words, you can feel confident when you state your name and relationship to the groom versus trying to explain a more complex idea. This will immediately calm your nerves and allow you to sound confident from the very first beat of your mother of the groom speech.

Thank the Guests

Before you dive in to talking about your son and his new marriage, be sure to thank your guests for attending the event.

Examples:

·      Thank you for helping me to celebrate the marriage of my son Jason and his new bride Donna.

·      I want to thank you all for being here today. It’s such a special occasion and it’s been made more meaningful by having each of you with us today to celebrate.

·      Thank you for sharing in the love of Jason and Donna today.

Talk about your Son

Next, you’ll want to focus on our son. Oh where on earth to begin when writing about your son on his wedding day! This can be the most overwhelming part. To help determine where to focus, start by conducting a brainstorm using my “pen to paper” method.

Start by setting a timer. I suggest 15 to 30 minutes. When you set a time restriction, you’ll have enough time to write down what’s most important without wallowing in details that aren’t necessary for your speech.

Once the timer starts, put your pen to your paper and begin writing. Write about any thought, feeling, or memory that comes to mind when you think about your son. The key is to not take your pen off the paper. Just keep writing. Keep writing even when you don’t have a clear thought to transcribe. When you do this, you’ll eventually tap into your subconscious. That’s when the real creative juices start to flow. You may write down ideas you would have never considered.

Once you’ve completed the brainstorm, highlight or underline thoughts that you’d like to use for your mother of the groom speech. When you have identified themes, you’ll polish these concepts by expanding on each thought and tying it back to the idea of marriage.  

Let’s look at an example to see how to accomplish this within your mother of the groom speech.

Brainstorm Note: I love how my son has a compassionate heart.

Expand on the Concept: When Jason was six years old, all of his classmates were invited over to the house for his birthday party. Most of them were playing together except for one boy who was sitting by himself. I witnessed my six-year-old son walk away from the pile of new gifts he had just opened to walk over to that boy. Jason was carrying his brand new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles action figure. Jason handed Donatello over to the boy and said—“Here, this one can be yours. Let’s play together.” 

Tie it Back to Marriage: I’ve witnessed my son show compassion from when he was just a little boy through to becoming the amazing man he is today. It’s his kind and caring heart that will serve his marriage from this day forward.

You can see from the example that you use a specific story to show your chosen idea or trait—his compassion. Then you wrap up the story by bringing everyone back to the present moment and reminding them why everyone has come together—to celebrate a new marriage.

Talk about your New Daughter or Son-in-Law

While the main connection is between you and your son, a good mother of the groom speech also mentions your thoughts on his new wife or husband.

You can follow the same brainstorm exercise used earlier and come up with material for this section too. Once you have a character trait that you’d like to focus on, turn it into a story and detail out at the end why you’re happy that this person is now part of your family.

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Let’s look at another example.

Character Trait: Your son’s partner is thoughtful.  

Story to Show Trait: When I first met Donna, she came to my home and I was greeted with a bouquet of purple lilacs—my favorite flower. Over the years, I’ve witnessed Donna remember the little things that are important to the people she loves—like my son—and she acts on these gestures with pure love.

Close with Why You’re Happy: When I think about these completely selfless and thoughtful gestures that Donna regularly gives, it warms my heart to know that my family will be surrounded by this kind of love as she joins our family today.

Explain Why Their Marriage Makes You Happy

The key to a strong mother of the groom speech is to touch on why their marriage brings you joy. Think back to when you first met your son’s partner. What did you think? How did you feel?

Maybe you were overjoyed and you have a ton of memories to use as material for your speech.

But what if you didn’t have a great first impression or are still not sure of the person your son is choosing to marry? You need to find the silver lining. What is the one redeeming quality that makes you happy or what is one act you’ve witnessed your son’s future spouse do that has comforted you?

Focus on those memories and use one within your mother of the groom speech.

Let’s look at some examples.  

·       As a mother, all I’ve ever wanted for my son is for him to be happy. Seeing how happy Donna has made him is the greatest gift a mother could ask for her son.

·      Marriage is about two people supporting each other through the joyful and difficult times in life. It brings me such joy to know that Jason and Donna will be that support for each other.

Close with a Wish for the Couple

Finally, close your mother of the groom speech with a wish for the newly married couple. This can be a simple sentence that wraps up how you feel and encourages guests to raise their glass to toast the couple.

Here are a few examples.

·      Jason and Donna…may you continue to love, grow, and laugh together from this day forward.

·      Let’s raise our glass to Jason and Donna. Today we celebrate your wedding and may you continue to celebrate your marriage from this day forward.

·      I wish you both all the happiness that life has to offer and my love is with you both always.

What if you’re still struggling to write your mother of the groom speech?

You can hire help! At Wedding Words, I work with tonged-tied couples to write their vows and and overwhelmed mothers of the groom to write their speeches.

Let’s connect. I’d love to hear about the upcoming wedding and collaborate together to write a beautiful mother of the groom speech that you’ll be proud and confident to deliver to your son on his wedding day.