How do you write your own vows? While writing your own wedding vows is a wonderful way to make your wedding ceremony more unique and special, it can be so challenging.
As a wedding vow writer and creator of Wedding Words, I collaborate with couples to write their personalized wedding vows. I can tell you that a trick to writing anything—not just your wedding vows—starts with utilizing writing prompts.
A writing prompt is an exercise where you’re given a question to inspire a written response. Think of it as a way to get your creative muscles warmed up.
To learn how to write vows, I’m going to walk you through five vow writing prompts.
How to Use Vow Writing Prompts to Write Vows
Grab your journal, a pen, and get setup in a comfortable spot. You’re about to free-write responses to each of the below writing prompts.
To do this, I suggest setting a timer for each prompt for five to ten minutes. It’s a good idea to limit the amount of time you have to respond to each question. The time is long enough to allow your subconscious to take over as you write but not too long that you become stuck with what to keep writing.
As you write, challenge and encourage yourself to keep your pen to paper during the entire prompt. No need to stop and ponder—what should I write next?
Just keep writing—even when you don’t know what to say. If this happens, simply write, “I don’t know what to say next…”
When you follow this pen to paper method, ideas will flow more freely than if you stop. Keep working through any blocks by continuously writing.
Lastly, it’s important to remember that while you work through these writing prompts for your custom wedding vows, it’s a judgement free zone.
These exercises are almost like doing a brainstorm and there are no wrong ideas in a brainstorm. You can edit ideas later. For now, embrace any thought that comes to mind and capture it down on paper.
When you’re done, you’ll have real material you can use to polish into your own unique wedding vows.
Vow Writing Prompt #1: How did you know that this is the person you want to spend your life with?
Really consider this question. Deciding to marry your fiancé is a conscious choice. What was the moment you realized this was your person? How did you feel? Why this person?
Vow Writing Prompt #2: How does your fiancé make you feel loved?
We all show love in different ways. Just look at the five love languages concept. When you think about how your fiancé shows love, consider how that makes you feel. Why does it mean something to you? Why does it feel good to you?
Vow Writing Prompt #3: When you think of this relationship compared to others you’ve had, what makes this one uniquely special?
Chances are you’ve dated other people before deciding to commit your lives to one another. So why this person and not the people that came before?
As humans, it’s our nature to compare things next to each other. Why is your fiancé so much better than any other relationship you’ve experienced before?
While it may seem odd to contemplate past romances as you write your wedding vows, trust the process.
This is my favorite question to ask couples during our video interview because it’s something we don’t really consider but when we do, lots of good material will come to mind to help you write your vows.
Vow Writing Prompt #4: How does your fiancé make you feel?
Jot down words that describe how you feel being around your fiancé and how they have changed you and your life. If general adjectives like “happy” or “loved” come to mind, dig deeper to find specifics.
In what ways exactly does your fiancé make you feel happy or loved? Perhaps you can write a short anecdote to describe a time your fiancé made you feel that way.
Vow Writing Prompt #5: What excites you about your future together?
Writing your wedding vows is not only about highlighting the things you love about your fiancé but it’s also about outlining promises for your marriage.
As you free-write using this prompt, picture your future marriage. Imagine what it will look like two years, seven years, twenty years, forty years from now.
How will your marriage evolve? What do you promise to bring to your marriage each year? What kind of spouse do you promise to be?
What should you do after the writing prompts?
Once you’ve completed the writing prompts, it’s time to use this material to write your own custom wedding vows.
Compile your notes and review them. Which sentences really capture how you feel and what you want to express during your wedding ceremony? Circle or highlight the phrases that stand out to you.
These highlighted sections are the parts you can use to construct your wedding vows.
Another great resource when trying to figure out how to write your vows is to reference these vow scripts for the bride.
If you’re still struggling to fully form your thoughts, consider hiring help. As a professional wedding vow writer, I work with brides and grooms to write completely custom wedding vows.
Get in touch. I’d love to hear your love story.