Wedding Vow Outline: The 5 Step Guide to Writing Custom Wedding Vows

Writing custom wedding vows is the way to create a personalized wedding but how do you begin? As a professional wedding vow writer and the creator of Wedding Words, I must say that there is an art to vow writing.

To help you write meaningful vows without more wedding planning induced stress, I’ve designed a wedding vow outline you can follow. Grab a pen and get ready to write custom wedding vows that you’ll be proud to recite during your ceremony.

Wedding Vow Outline Step #1 – Set the Scene

Begin your wedding vows by setting the scene. How do you achieve this? There are three key points.

  1. Address your fiancé

  2. State a fact or anecdote about your past or relationship

  3. Provide yourself with a solid jumping off point to move your vows forward


  • Edward, little did I know six years ago when I reluctantly accepted a blind date invitation that I’d be here today.

  • My sweet love, from the moment we met I knew you were special.

  • Sandrine, my best friend and soulmate, I always knew I wanted to marry you.

  • Matthew, I’m so grateful that today I get to marry my best friend.

You can see how each example includes one of the three points. The fiancé is addressed whether by name or with an endearing nickname.

Some sort of fact or anecdote is communicated to describe a bit of history about the relationship and put the present moment into perspective.

Lastly, the line ends with some sort of detail that allows the writer to move the wedding vows forward.

For example, by ending the first sentence with, “…I get to marry my best friend,” the writer can then move forward to describe that friendship and how it’s affected him or her.  

Wedding Vow Outline Step #2 – Capture Your Fiancé  

Next, it’s time to focus on your fiancé. What do you love about your fiancé? What kind of person are they? Describe who they are and why this is the person you want to marry. I recommend focusing on two to four main concepts.

Examples of concepts you may want to focus on within this section of your wedding vows:

  • Thoughtfulness

  • Support

  • Sense of humor

  • Desire to start a family

  • Makes you feel safe or comforted

  • Is your soundboard

Think about what qualities your fiancé shows you and how those make you feel. Then articulate those emotions into words for this section of your vows.  

couple works on wedding vow outline.jpg

Wedding Vow Outline Step #3 – Detail Your Relationship

You’ve already focused on why you love your fiancé. Now it’s time to write about your relationship. What is your relationship dynamic? Are you best friends who have fun together no matter what you’re doing? Are you each other’s biggest support system?

This is where you go into detail about what kind of relationship you have and what it means to you. Think of it like a lens. You began your vows by focusing in on your fiancé and now you’re zooming out to view the larger picture—your relationship.

Wedding Vow Outline Step #4 – Mention Your Marriage

The next step is to detail out your hopes and dreams for your marriage.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself to brainstorm ideas for this section of your vows.  

  • When you imagine your marriage on a day-to-day basis, what does it look like? How do you feel?

  • How do you want your future spouse to feel in your marriage?

  • How do you plan to make your marriage strong and happy?

  • What do you see when you imagine your marriage in twenty years?

Wedding Vow Outline Step #5 – Included a Love Filled Kicker

The last sentence in an article is known as a “kicker.” This is a line that ties together the entire message and does so with impact.

The last step in following this wedding vow outline, is to write what I like to call a love filled kicker.

Let’s look at some examples.

  • I love you—my best friend, my partner in life—my wife.

  • Josh, thank you for choosing me. I promise to continue choosing our love for the rest of our lives.

  • I know our marriage will be beautiful because I get to spend the rest of my life with my best friend, the most loving person I know, my husband.

couple recites wedding vows.jpg

You can see these examples include a summary, a sense of wrapping it up, and some emotional punch. How can you end your wedding vows with a love filled kicker?

Are you still having a difficult time trying to write your own wedding vows?

Wedding Words can help. We offer both one-on-one custom vow writing services and a digital vow writing course.

Let’s get in touch and discover how best we can help you to write wedding vows that you’ll be excited to recite and remember for years to come.