When it comes to your wedding, there’s so much to coordinate. The floral arrangements, color scheme, DJ playlist, seating chart, and the dress—my goodness, the dress! Amidst the wedding planning, the one item on every list of action items that tends to get pushed aside by couples is the vow writing. It’s not because couples don’t find writing unique wedding vows to be an essential and important part of their wedding ceremony. Rather, it’s because of the pressure, fear, and writer's block that plague their minds.

I love to focus on the positive so creating a “what not to do guide” for writing your wedding vows felt a little off-putting, at first. But this isn’t a pessimistic perspective to vow writing. This is a roadmap to rescue you from making unintentional accidents while at the altar.  

Like Andie Anderson said about her dating column idea in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, “…it will be a sort of dating “How To” in reverse.”

So here’s my vow writing how to guide…in reverse. What not to do when it comes to writing and presenting your wedding vows.

If you suffer from anxiety, you know how real it is. It can feel debilitating and sometimes handicap you from doing the things you really want. For many brides I work with, the idea of writing her vows and publicly sharing them during the wedding ceremony is a surefire way for her anxiety to spike and send her into full blown panic attack. 

So why do brides put themselves through this stress? Like you, they want the uniqueness of writing custom written vows—despite how scary it can feel. 

When I asked a bride I recently worked with, “What do you wish for your future husband,” her response made me giggle. However, I think most grooms-to-be would empathize with her fiancé.

“Well, I know what he’d say,” she began. “He’d want his life back from all this nonstop wedding talk and planning!”

Wedding planning can be stressful and can cause strain on relationships. Which is ironic considering the entire reason you’re planning a wedding is because of your relationship. So how do you check off everything from your wedding to-do list while still showing some love to your relationship?

As a professional wedding vow writer, brides and grooms come to me for help most often because they have no idea how to begin writing their own wedding vows. I totally get it. You’ve finally found the love of your life and you’re about to make this huge commitment. Which words could possibly be capable of capturing your emotions and honoring this milestone of entering into marriage?