Wedding Vow Structure: The 5 Step Outline to Writing Unique Wedding Vows

There is a specific wedding vow structure you can follow when you sit down to write your wedding vows.  When you follow this outline, it will not only help you frame your vows in the most meaningful way but it will also remove stress from the vow writing process.

As a professional wedding vow writer and the creator of Wedding Words, I’ve designed a wedding vow structure that works. I use this five step outline with my brides and grooms through both vow writing services I offer: one-on-one custom vow writing and our online vow writing course.

When you attempt to write your own wedding vows, it can be one of the most overwhelming parts of wedding planning. But like most things, when you have specific direction, the overwhelm dissipates and your armed with the confidence you need to get the job done.

Think of this wedding vow structure as that specific direction. Follow the outline and you’ll be guided along as you write your own unique wedding vows.

Wedding Vow Structure Step #1 – Set the Scene

Begin your wedding vows by setting the scene. How do you achieve this? There are three key points.

1.     Address your fiancé

2.     State a fact or anecdote about your past or relationship

3.     Provide yourself with a solid jumping off point to move your vows forward


·      Edward, little did I know six years ago when I reluctantly accepted a blind date invitation that I’d be here today.

·      My sweet love, from the moment we met I knew you were special.

·      Emma, my best friend and soul mate, I always knew I wanted to marry you.

·      Matthew, I’m so grateful that today I get to marry my best friend.

You can see from these examples that each one includes one of the three points. The fiancé is addressed whether by name or through an endearing nickname. Some sort of fact or anecdote is communicated to describe a bit of history about the relationship and put the present moment into perspective. Lastly, the line ends with some sort of detail that allows the writer to move the wedding vows forward.

For example, by ending the first sentence with, “…I get to marry my best friend,” the writer can then move forward to describe that friendship and how it’s affected him or her.

Now it’s your turn. Try writing your first sentence using these three key points. You may want to write a few versions and pick the one that you end up liking best.

Wedding Vow Structure Step #2 – Capture on Your Fiancé  

Next, it’s time to focus on your fiancé. What do you love about your fiancé? What kind of person are they? Describe who they are and why this is the person you want to marry. I recommend focusing on two to four main themes that describe your fiancé.

Examples of themes you may want to focus on within this section of your wedding vows:

·      Thoughtfulness

·      Support

·      Sense of humor

·      Desire to start a family

·      Makes you feel safe or comforted

·      Is your soundboard

Think about what qualities your fiancé shows you and how those make you feel. Then articulate those emotions into words for this section of the wedding vow structure.

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Wedding Vow Structure Step #3 – Detail Your Relationship

You’ve already focused on why you love your fiancé. Now it’s time to zoom out a bit and write about your relationship. What is your relationship dynamic? Are you best friends who have fun together no matter what you’re doing? Are you each other’s biggest support system?

During this part of the wedding vow structure, you will go into detail about what kind of relationship you have and what it means to you. Think of it like a lens. You started more focused in on your fiancé and now you’re zooming out to view the larger picture—your relationship.

Wedding Vow Structure Step #4 – Mention Your Marriage

Since your wedding vows are a statement that you’re making as you enter into marriage, the next step is to detail out your hopes and dreams for marriage.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself to brainstorm ideas for this section of the wedding vow structure.

·      When you imagine your marriage on a day-to-day basis, what does it look like? How do you feel?

·      How do you want your future spouse to feel in your marriage?

·      How do you plan to make your marriage strong and happy?

·      What do you see when you imagine your marriage in twenty years?

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Wedding Vow Structure Step #5 – Include a Love Filled Kicker

The last sentence of an article in journalism jargon is known as a “kicker.” This is that line that ties together the entire message and does so with impact.

The last step in following this wedding vow structure is to write what I like to call a love filled kicker.

Let’s look at some examples.

·      I love you—my best friend, my partner in life—my wife.

·      Josh, thank you for choosing me. I promise to continue choosing our love for the rest of our lives.

·      I know our marriage will be beautiful because I get to spend the rest of my life with my best friend, the most loving person I know, my husband.

You can see from these examples how the last line includes both a summary and a sense of closing while also including some emotional punch. How can you close your wedding vows to include a love filled kicker?

Are you still challenged to follow this wedding vow structure?

So what do you do if you’ve tried to follow this wedding vow structure but you’re still stressed over vow writing? It’s time to get some help.

As I noted earlier, I’m the creator of Wedding Words—a wedding vow writing service. I collaborate with couples to write personalized wedding vows.

We can work one-on-one together to write your wedding vows. If you prefer to be in the driver’s seat, sign up for our vow writing course.

Both vow writing services will follow a wedding vow structure and will help you to deliver unique wedding vows that you’ll be excited to recite. Let’s get started.