7 Tips for How to Write Non-Religious Wedding Vows

For many engaged couples, choosing a non-religious wedding ceremony is their preference.

If you and your fiancé do not follow a traditional religious path, celebrate with non-religious wedding vows.

You can ditch the “I take thee” traditional vow approach and instead write your own, personalized and non-religious wedding vows using these seven tips.

Non-Religious Wedding Vow Tip #1—Highlight Your Beliefs

Just because you don’t believe in a specific religion, does not mean you don’t have strong beliefs that guide and ground you.

Brainstorm a list of what values, experiences, and qualities you do believe in.

Perhaps there are values that both you and your fiancé share. For example, you might share similar family values or community service values.  

Once you complete your brainstorm, review the list. Which items do you connect with most? Which do you feel will be most important in your marriage?

Consider noting these values within your vows to show what will anchor your relationship throughout the years.  

Non-Religious Wedding Vow Tip #2—Communicate Faith in Your Fiancé

You likely have faith in the person you are choosing to marry. Describe the faith you have in your partner. Detail out why this is important to you and how it’s different than anything you’ve felt in the past.

Being able to have faith in another person is a strong endeavor and something vital to a long lasting marriage. Make sure your fiancé knows how much faith you have in them when you read your vows.

Non-Religious Wedding Vow Tip #3—Acknowledge the Hard Times

While you won’t be reciting traditional wedding vows, you can take inspiration from those vows: “…for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health…”

Marriage will have its joys and challenges. To prepare for the journey ahead, acknowledge your expectations and how you plan to act throughout every season of marriage.

Here are some examples for how you might achieve this within your wedding vows.

  • It doesn’t matter what life throws at us, I know it will be okay because I have you by my side.

  • I promise to fight fair, to forgive fast, and to support you through every challenge that might come our way.

  • We’ve been challenged in the past and I know we’ll have challenges in the future but together, I know we can triumph through anything.

Do you see how within these vow examples, there’s an acknowledgement of challenges while also noting how the couple will prevail? Aim to achieve this balance.

couple says non religous wedding vows.jpg

Non-Religious Wedding Vow Tip #4—Include Aspects of Your Personality

What things are unique to your relationship? Do you share a love for exploring the outdoors or are you both huge fans of the Red Wings?

Include a line or two about your shared interests. This is a perfect way to make your vows more personalized to you both as a couple.

Here are some examples:

  • Whether we’re enjoying our favorite bottle of scotch or checking travel destinations off of our bucket list together, my life is more abundant and fun because of you.

  • Together we’ve literally climbed mountains. We’ve traveled long dirt roads. We’ve explored countless cultures. Life with you is always an adventure and I can’t wait for this next chapter to unfold.

  • When we first met at the Yankees baseball game, I knew you were special.

See how these specific details add to the personalization of your non-religious wedding vows? It can be as simple as noting the exact venue where you met or you can go into more detail about your shared interests.

The idea is to get specific when you mention aspects of your personality as part of your wedding vows.  

Non-Religious Wedding Vow Tip #5—Mention Support of Family and Friends

Throughout your relationship, there have been other important relationships that have helped to encourage you and show support to you both.

How has their love enhanced your relationship? How has your best friend or your sister inspired growth in your relationship?  

Often times, outside help of family and friends can help make a relationship strong. Consider using this concept as an area to focus on within your non-religious wedding vows.

Non-Religious Wedding Vow Tip #6—Choose Your Own Reading

While you won’t be using a bible verse or religious reading within your wedding vows, do consider using a non-religious reading within your vows.

Flip through your favorite books of poems for inspiration or use a famous quote you both admire.

Choose a non-religious, romantic reading that captures your relationship. Add it to your vows to increase the impact of what you are trying to convey to your love.  

Non-Religious Wedding Vow Tip #7—Work with a Vow Expert

It might have been an easy decision to choose to write your own vows but actually writing the vows is the not-so-easy part.

Now you can work with a vow expert to express what’s in your heart. At Wedding Words, we offer both one-on-one custom vow writing and vow editing services.

Connect with Katelyn Stanis, vow expert, to learn more about how you could work together to create your non-religious wedding vows.